We Were Just Kids Then

November 19, 2011.

It was 4 years ago, but it really only feels like yesterday. I remember planning this trip to Biltmore, thinking that I might not even be able to go since I was still recovering from my fight with mono. You were gracious and offered to wait on our trip, but I wanted out of the house and to explore the day away with you. You took me to my favorite place, and even brought along our own picnic lunch.

Wow. Thinking back, we were just kids then.

You pulled out all the stops, but the only thing that registered is how much I loved you and how special you made me feel. We decided to enjoy lunch first before going through the house. We picked out the best spot on the lawn to oversee the bustle of Christmas prep activities on the estate and to watch as the buses brought people in. For a Saturday, it wasn’t that packed, and it seemed that we were the only 2 enjoying a leisure day outside.

You opened the picnic basket and pulled out the sandwiches, the chocolate covered strawberries, and my favorite brand of white grape juice. I entertained myself with taking pictures of the house off in the distance, while you unpacked lunch and chatted about us. You talked about our past. How we met. How much things had changed in that last year. And then you leaned in to whisper one simple question. When you asked if I wanted to spend forever with you, I automatically replied yes, but without really thinking about what you were trying to say. I think you knew that, because you repeated your question. You asked if I meant it. And I laughed. I didn’t mean to. I really had no idea.

And in that one split second, there’s a moment in time that’s forever frozen in my memory. I see you moving from beside me to in front of me, down on one knee. You had a box in your hand, which I never recall seeing before that moment. You asked me to marry you and I sat there, stunned. Even though, looking back at it now, it should have been obvious. I didn’t know. I wasn’t prepared. And as I stared back at you, all I could think to say was “Are you serious? You’re asking me right now?” You were patient, though I’m sure your heart was pounding, aching to hear me say yes. As it finally dawned on me, tears started down my face and I whispered “yes” as you placed that ring on my finger. I not only said yes to you, I said yes to our future, to a life I never imagined was possible, to a man that I’ll never quite deserve, but will forever keep trying to out-love.

Every fall, we repeat that tradition of spending the day at Biltmore, reliving our day, that moment, and reflecting on our lives since that day. You forever changed my life, Ryan. Here’s to us. Here’s to 4 years. And here’s to that start to our forever.